THE WHITE ASPARAGUS TRIANGULATION – Season 2, Episode 9 (November 24, 2008)
S: Penny, hello.
P: Hey, Sheldon.
S: What is shaking?
P: I’m sorry?
S: It’s colloquial; a conversation opener. Do you find the weather satisfying? Are you currently enjoying the triumph of some local sports team?
P: What’s wrong with you, you’re freakin’ me out.
S: I’m striking up a casual conversation with you. (pause) S’uup?
P: I’m sorry?
S: It’s colloquial; a conversation opener. Do you find the weather satisfying? Are you currently enjoying the triumph of some local sports team?
P: What’s wrong with you, you’re freakin’ me out.
S: I’m striking up a casual conversation with you. (pause) S’uup?
P: Please don’t do that.
S: Alright, but I’m given to understand that when you have something awkward to discuss with someone it’s more palatable to preface it with banal chit-chat.
P: So this WASN’T the awkward part?
S: No.
P: Oh, alright. (pause) S’uup?
S: Oh good, I used that right.
P: Anyway, you’re aware that Leonard has entered into a new romantic relationship which includes a sexual component?
P: OK, I’m feeling the awkward NOW.
S: Her name is Dr. Stephanie Barnett and she is a highly distinguished surgical resident at Freemont Memorial.
P: Yeah, Leonard told me.
S: Good, what he may have out is how important this relationship is to me.
P: To you?
S: Yes, see, ah, out of the handful of women that Leonard has been involved with she is the only one that I’ve ever found tolerable.
S: Alright, but I’m given to understand that when you have something awkward to discuss with someone it’s more palatable to preface it with banal chit-chat.
P: So this WASN’T the awkward part?
S: No.
P: Oh, alright. (pause) S’uup?
S: Oh good, I used that right.
P: Anyway, you’re aware that Leonard has entered into a new romantic relationship which includes a sexual component?
P: OK, I’m feeling the awkward NOW.
S: Her name is Dr. Stephanie Barnett and she is a highly distinguished surgical resident at Freemont Memorial.
P: Yeah, Leonard told me.
S: Good, what he may have out is how important this relationship is to me.
P: To you?
S: Yes, see, ah, out of the handful of women that Leonard has been involved with she is the only one that I’ve ever found tolerable.
P: Well, what about me?
S: The statement stands for itself.
P: Well, aren’t you sweet.
S: Anyway, should you have any interaction with her it would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival.
P: Yeah, I think she’s pretty safe.
S: You say that now but consider the following scenario: You’re sitting in your apartment, it’s late, you’re alone, your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen. Suddenly, even Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate. Or a hook-up as it’s referred to by today’s urban youth.
P: Really?
S: Yes. Now, should that happen, I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
P: I could think about you.
S: Fine, whatever works.
P: Well, aren’t you sweet.
S: Anyway, should you have any interaction with her it would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival.
P: Yeah, I think she’s pretty safe.
S: You say that now but consider the following scenario: You’re sitting in your apartment, it’s late, you’re alone, your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen. Suddenly, even Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate. Or a hook-up as it’s referred to by today’s urban youth.
P: Really?
S: Yes. Now, should that happen, I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
P: I could think about you.
S: Fine, whatever works.
P: Always nice talking to you, Sheldon.
S: Peace-out.
NOTE: All images from THE BIG BANG THEORY: THE COMPLETE SECOND SEASON DVD
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